Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
