So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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