I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
