Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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