I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
