you guys were way drunker than both of me
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
