nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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