my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
