I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
