I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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