If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
