Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
