It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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