woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
