I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize