Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
