It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
