i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
