your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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