...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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