is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
