Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
