I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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