This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
