Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
