smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
