I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
