dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
