I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
