just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
handjob tips. give me some.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
