There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
