I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
