im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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