So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
