Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
