butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
