I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
