No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
