chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
