i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
There's even glitter on my cock...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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