tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He passed out mid-signature
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
