I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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