I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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