oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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