So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
