Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
