I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
