My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
