***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
