Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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