oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
